Move over Nostradamus, there’s a new soothsayer in town! Meet Rosalee Gypsum, the foremost world-renowned prognosticator who claims to have the answer to the question that has been on everyone’s minds since November 2020 – why did Donald Trump lose the presidential election? According to Ms. Gypsum, the reason behind Trump’s defeat lies in a curse that was placed upon him.
Ms. Gypsum, who has predicted everything from the outcome of major sports events to the weather forecast for the next century, believes that a group of witches were responsible for the curse that befell Trump. “I have never felt such a negative energy surrounding a candidate before. It was almost palpable,” says Ms. Gypsum.
While some may scoff at the idea of a curse, Ms. Gypsum insists that her psychic powers have never failed her. “I can sense the energy of curses, and I felt a dark presence surrounding Mr. Trump during the election,” she said.
Ms. Gypsum claims that the curse can only be lifted by the demise of Rudy Giuliani, Mr. Trump’s former lawyer and former mayor of New York City. “Rudy Giuliani was instrumental in carrying out Mr. Trump’s nefarious plans, and his downfall is necessary for the curse to be lifted,” she explained.
Mr. Trump has yet to comment on Ms. Gypsum’s claims. However, his supporters have been quick to dismiss the idea of a curse. “This is just more liberal nonsense. Mr. Trump lost the election because of voter fraud, not some silly curse,” said one Trump supporter.
As for Rudy Giuliani, the man at the centre of the curse, he’s not too worried about it. “I’ve faced bigger threats in my life than a bunch of witches and their curses,” he said confidently.
However, Giuliani did admit that he will be increasing his security detail just in case. “I don’t want to take any chances, especially now that I know I’m a target. I’ve hired a few more bodyguards, and I’m making sure to avoid any suspicious-looking potions or hexes,” he joked.
Whether or not the curse is real, one thing is for sure – the 2020 election has left a mark on American history that won’t soon be forgotten. And who knows, maybe one day we’ll find out that a curse was indeed responsible for the outcome. Until then, we’ll just have to rely on the expertise of people like Rosalee Gypsum to guide us through the mysteries of the universe.
Rudy Giuliani by Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons